Co-dependency And The Chemically Dependent Person

Chemically dependent people appreciate having a co-dependent person allied with them during their drinking spree. Unwittingly, the co-dependent will do whatever is necessary to assist the drinker in their pursuit of alcoholism or drug addiction, often at the expense of their own health and well-being. The co-dependent will in effect, run interference for the problem drinker making sure everything appears normal to the outside world.

When a chemically dependent person is functioning both at work and at home, often co-dependent behavior can also be found in the workplace. Co-workers and executive assistants can be drawn into this net of co-dependency by covering for the chemically dependent person at work, scheduling business around their happy hours and making excuses for them. If they are not assisting in the cover up they may well just avoid the chemically dependent person altogether which in a sense is a form of co-dependent behavior. It would be better to confront the problem drinker and insist the chemically dependent person get some assistance.

The problem drinker who takes pleasure in the enabling behavior of family and friends who seek to minimize an obvious drinking problem, have a much higher risk of developing a full blown alcoholism problem. The natural reaction from a co-dependent is to hide the problem or seek answers for something very different from the obvious problem of alcohol abuse.

Problem drinking at home means many an entire immediate family goes into damage control mode when one or the other spouse or parent drinks too much. Often children will take on the co-dependent role and clean up after the drinker, help them to bed, make them meals when food is the last thing on their mind. Co-dependent children often suffer from unseen stress because of this protective role and things like health and grades begin to suffer. This stress may also lead to escapism on the part of the young person possibly leading to his or her own problems with addiction.

Spouses are the classic co-dependent, generally tolerating the situation the longest out of their love for the damaged person. Spouses have been known to go to extreme lengths to confine the drinking problem within the four corners of the home. They do what they believe is necessary to keep the family unit together, regardless of the risk to the dysfunctional individual.

This co-dependent behavior will often go unrecognized and can result in severe consequences for the CD person. The degrees of CD behavior vary quite a lot but there are common characteristics. They will go above and beyond to care for and cover for others, often going to tremendous lengths paying attention to the actions and feelings of the dysfunctional, disregarding their own needs. Codependents are always reacting to the needs of the dysfunctional drinker and paying sparse attention to their own requirements.

Obvious signs of co-dependency are: worrying and anxiety, bending over backwards to take care of others, not knowing or not trusting ones own feelings, feeling guilty for not doing enough, and feeling isolated or depressed. Codependents are known to stay in bad relationships or perhaps sabotage those with potential, have trouble with emotional intimacy and experience sexual problems. CDs also exhibit a lack of energy and suffer from low self-esteem.

For the co-dependent, its all about the rescue mission when in fact they are nurturing and extending the dysfunctional behavior. They exhibit the classic enabling behavior by lending the problem drinker money, lying for them, making excuses for them and even doing their jobs for them or covering responsibilities. This only makes an obvious situation as some may see it, much more harmful, prolonging the inevitable for the problem drinker.

Eventually the co-dependent person begins to display anger and resentment toward the dysfunctional and begin nagging the problem drinker to change or modify their behavior but often to no avail. The only person who can really change is the addict or dysfunctional individual and by their own admission. Those who suffer from co-dependent behavior should seek their own help and learn to live a life free from other peoples burdens.

If your current situation has you concerned enough that you are exploring the possiblity of seeking help - it’s time.

Nothing can be gained by waiting. Crisis comes and crisis goes, but with the disease of addiction, we don’t get to choose the consequences our loved ones will face the next time.

If now is not the time, ask yourself: How much worse will it have to get before you are willing to act?

We can help. Call us.